The Tool No One Told Me About: The Feelings Wheel
The Tool No One Told Me About: The Feelings Wheel
By Sami | Chaos to Calm
I want to tell you about something that genuinely changed things for us, not fixed everything, not waved a magic wand, but helped us understand each other a little better.
It’s called the Feelings Wheel.
And no one told me it existed.
🤯 Why Did No One Mention This?
We’ve been in and out of services for years.
Therapists. Crisis teams. A&E.
And not once did anyone say:
“Here’s a tool that might help your daughter express how she’s feeling when she doesn’t have the words.”
I had to find it myself — as usual.
And when I did? It was like turning on a light in a room we didn’t even realise was dark.
💬 So… What Is the Feelings Wheel?
At its heart, it’s just a circle with words on it.
But oh, it’s so much more than that.
It starts in the middle with simple emotions like:
Sad
Angry
Afraid
Happy
Then spirals outward into more specific words like:
Rejected
Insecure
Overwhelmed
Hopeful
Isolated
Grateful
It helps you go from “I feel rubbish” to “Actually, I feel vulnerable because I’ve been left out.”
When you’re dealing with emotional dysregulation, trauma, or just good old teenage overwhelm — this is gold. Absolute gold.
👩👧 Our First Moment Using It
I’ll never forget the first time I gently showed my daughter the Wheel.
She couldn’t speak.
Was shut down, pacing, angry but silent.
And I didn’t know what to do.
So I just pointed to the wheel on the fridge and said,
“Is there one on here that feels close to what’s going on?”
She stood there. Quiet.
Then jabbed her finger at:
Fearful → Helpless → Insecure
And in that moment, everything softened.
I didn’t need to fix anything.
But I could see her. And she could feel seen.
🌈 Why I Made My Own
Most Feelings Wheels are very clinical.
Grey. Basic. Designed for therapists in office chairs.
So I created a special Chaos to Calm Feelings Wheel — in soft, calming colours, with a magnetic backing, so you can stick it on your fridge, your radiator, or wherever emotions tend to fly.
It’s not just a tool.
It’s a daily invitation to check in — without judgement.
For your kids. For yourself. For the days when you don’t even know what you feel.
🛒 Order yours here:
👉 https://bit.ly/ChaostoCalmFeelingsWheel
🧭 Why This Matters So Much
For families living in the chaos of emotional dysregulation, this wheel becomes more than words on a page — it becomes a lifeline.
A way to pause, reflect, connect.
It gives you language for things that used to end in shouting, sobbing, or silence.
It’s the kind of thing we should have been given years ago.
But no one told us.
So I’m telling you.
✨ More Free Support for Mums Like Us
💡 Not sure where to begin?
Download my free guide: What Type of Anchor Are You in the Storm?
👉 samiward.com/anchor_in_the_storm255468
👭 Need a space to talk with other mums who get it?
Join our private Facebook group:
👉 facebook.com/groups/bpdparentsupport
📲 Want all my best links in one place?
👉 Linktree: Chaos to Calm Resources
💌 Final Thought
If no one ever told you about the Feelings Wheel either, you’re not alone.
Let’s change that — one fridge at a time. 💛
