Trying to Relax When Your Heart Is Still at Home

Trying to Relax When Your Heart Is Still at Home

By Sami | Chaos to Calm

I’m writing this from beautiful Madeira, a place I love and somewhere I’ve been longing to come back to. The sun’s warm on my shoulders. The sea is just over there, sparkling like a postcard.

And yet, even in this little slice of paradise, my mind is still busy.

Because while I’m here, my daughter is at home with her girlfriend. For the first time in what feels like forever, I’ve stepped away, just for a week. And the truth is, it’s brought up every emotion under the sun.

The Relief

First, there’s relief. Relief that she’s safe with someone she trusts. Relief that I can put down the constant vigilance, if only for a few days.

When you’re supporting a young adult through a mental health crisis, you don’t realise how heavy it is until you step back. The weight comes off your shoulders all at once, and you almost feel lightheaded with it.

The Guilt

Then there’s the guilt. Oh, the guilt.

How can I be here, breathing in the sea air, when she’s still struggling?
How can I let myself rest, even a little, when her mind never does?

If you’ve ever felt this, please know you’re not alone. Guilt is a faithful companion to any parent trying to look after themselves. But it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you care so much, you don’t know how to separate her pain from your own.

The Trying

So here I am, sitting with the relief, the guilt, and everything in between.

Trying to let go for a while.
Trying to remember I’m a person as well as a mum.
Trying to trust that it’s okay to refill my cup so I can keep showing up for her when I get home.

What I’m Learning (Slowly)

If you’re in this place too, trying to rest but carrying your worries like hand luggage you can’t put down, I want to share this with you:

It’s okay to take breaks.
It doesn’t mean you love them any less.

You’re allowed joy, even in hard times.
One week of sunshine doesn’t erase what’s waiting at home. It just gives you strength to face it.

Trust can grow.
Trust in your child’s resilience. Trust in the people caring for them. Trust that you don’t have to do it all, all the time.

A Gentle Reminder

If you’re reading this while you’re somewhere trying to relax, maybe a hotel, maybe just your garden, I hope you know you deserve that rest.

I hope you can let yourself breathe, if only for a moment.

And I hope you remember that you can be a brilliant, caring parent and a human being who needs space to heal.

From my sun lounger in Madeira to wherever you are, sending love, understanding, and a reminder that you are doing enough.

If you’d like to talk, share your own story, or just feel less alone, my inbox is always open.

Love,

Sami xx