Why Support Systems Can Feel So Fragile

When you’re parenting a young adult in emotional chaos, you quickly realise that your support system isn’t always what you thought it would be. Friends fade away. Family doesn’t always “get it”. And sometimes, even the people closest to your child, like a partner or girlfriend, don’t know how to support them in the way you’d hope.

This isn’t because they’re bad people. More often than not, it’s because:

• They don’t understand mental health; they may not know what’s happening, so they minimise it or back away.

• It feels overwhelming, young partners, especially, can find the intensity of crises frightening.

• They want to “fix” things and when they can’t, they feel helpless and retreat.

• They’re worried about their own wellbeing, stepping back can feel safer than stepping in.

The Learning Bit
What I’ve had to learn is this: we can’t control who shows up or how they show up. Support looks different for everyone, and sometimes the people we think will be there… aren’t.

Instead of focusing on who’s missing, I’ve started asking:

• Who actually brings me calm, even in small ways?

• What do I need to feel supported and how can I communicate that clearly?

• Where else can I seek understanding, is it in a group, a friend, or even professional support?

Key Takeaway: It’s not about expecting everyone to understand. It’s about building a patchwork of support that does hold you, even if it looks different to what you imagined.

Your Calm in the Chaos,

Sami xx