Supporting My Daughter Through Crisis

When Healing Hurts!

By Sami | Chaos to Calm

Supporting My Daughter Through Crisis

I’m writing this today with a heavy heart. Not because there’s no hope, there is, but because sometimes healing looks like falling apart.

My daughter is in crisis.

She’s finally seeing an amazing private clinical psychologist, the NHS waiting list was over two years long, and while the support is brilliant, it’s also triggering a lot. Her therapy is stirring up pain that’s been buried deep for years.

She’s working hard. She’s engaging. But alongside the progress is a wave of emotional chaos. She’s struggling with suicidal thoughts again. She’s self-harming. Some of it happens in her sleep and some of it is more conscious, but she describes it like she’s in a trance. Disassociated. Not really there.

And as her mum? I feel like I’m falling apart too.

The Weight of Watching

There’s a special kind of heartbreak that comes from watching your child suffer. I want to fix it. I want to scoop her up and take away every ounce of pain. But I can’t. And that helplessness is so, so heavy.

I hug her when she lets me. I sit quietly when she can’t talk. I tell her that I love her even when she insists she’s worthless. I want to cry, I am afraid to as I dont want to break!

We live on high alert!

Constantly scanning for signs. Is today a calm day? Or is another storm brewing?

What I’m Learning (The Hard Way)

I’m not a therapist. I’m a mum, doing my best in a situation that no parent ever feels prepared for. But I’ve picked up some truths:

• You can’t logic away pain. Support doesn’t mean fixing. Sometimes it’s simply being there.

• Grief is allowed. For the daughter I imagined, for the ease I hoped she’d have. Grief doesn’t mean giving up.

• I have to look after me. If I’m on empty, I can’t show up for her.

• Progress is messy. Sometimes falling apart is part of falling into place.

To the Mums Who Know This Pain

If you’re walking this road too, I see you.

You might be exhausted. Terrified. Full of guilt and self doubt.

You might feel completely alone.

Please hear this:

You’re not alone. And you’re doing better than you think.
Your love matters, even if it feels invisible. You showing up matters, even when you’re breaking inside.

This journey from chaos to calm isn’t a straight line. But we’re walking it, together, if you’ll let me , one hour at a time.

Love

Sami xx