Why Support Systems Can Feel So Fragile
When you’re parenting a young adult in emotional chaos, you quickly realise that your support system isn’t always what you thought it would be. Friends fade away. Family don’t always “get it”.
When you’re parenting a young adult in emotional chaos, you quickly realise that your support system isn’t always what you thought it would be. Friends fade away. Family don’t always “get it”.
Sometimes I’ve found myself standing on the sidelines of my daughter’s life, watching her pour her heart into relationships, only to realise she isn’t receiving the same in return. It’s a painful thing, as a mum, to see. You want your child to be loved, cherished, supported especially when life already feels like an uphill battle. But instead, there are moments when love seems one-sided. She gives her all, but when the storm hits, when she’s at her most vulnerable, the support she desperately needs isn’t there.
Being alone and feeling lonely might seem like the same thing, but for someone living with BPD/EUPD or CPTSD, the difference can be profound. Alone vs Lonely Alone is a physical state. It simply means no one is present. Some people thrive in this space — reading, walking the dogs, enjoying quiet time. Lonely is an emotional state. It’s the feeling that no one sees you, understands you, or cares about your existence. Loneliness can happen even in a crowded room.
The Post That Broke Her 💻💔 While we were away in France, I got a message from my daughter. She was upset, really upset. It all started with a Facebook post.
If there’s one emotion that seems to follow my daughter everywhere, it’s guilt. Guilt for saying no. Guilt for struggling. Guilt for not being able to do what others find easy. Even guilt for feeling guilty.
Crisis From Afar: When Loneliness and Guilt Take Over. When we left for France, my daughter decided to stay home. It felt like the right choice for her at the time, avoiding the overwhelm of travel, new places, new food, the sheer noise of it all. But what none of us could predict was how quickly the silence at home would turn against her.